*pic heavy post
I wanted a pic of the cast of Living Single and instead I found the exact thing to inspire me to put into words what I want out of this year:
On food. Eat better. Chips&Russian is my comfort food when work stresses me, and pasta comforts me when life nje just does that thing where it falls apart. I have the jelly belly to prove the folly of relying on white carbs for comfort, and I am over it. This year, I’m eating better. Who knows, I might even start running and weight-training again.
On shelter. Love my home. It’s everything I need though perhaps not what I thought I wanted. I’m grateful for it and this year I want to be a homemaker of note and become the woman my mother raised me to be: the bestest hostess with the mostest.
On career. I’m a writer. It’s taken me a long while to get to the point where I can say that without feeling like a sham, like a fraudster with no shame. I have a job and I’m blessed to be pursuing my career as well. My goal is to eventually merge the two: do what I love (teach) and design and create the programs I teach (write). This is the year I do the work. All of the work.
On sex. If you know me at all, I don’t need to explain the last. Unlike the first three, this isn’t up to me alone, but it’s still a goal because you know what? I have work to do before I can have the sex I really want: great sex with a man who loves me, wants me, chooses me, and with whom I can be my highly sexed and super loving self (TMI? JBS *just be strong). The best sex happens when the intimacy is real and deep and goes beyond just the physical. I know this. So I’m determined to not just hold out for exclusive commitment but to actively become the woman that the kind of man I want can commit to, exclusively.
Today is the first day of my new year. I’m going to do brunch, I’m going to get ready for a new week and a new school term, I’m going to do all of the things I need to do, but I’m committing, today, to doing the REAL work, to not just saying I’m bawse, but to being bawse which gifs and memes aside, really is easier said then done. It’s gonna be hard I know, °but something tells me good things are coming and I ain’t gonna not believe…
I’m taking my person somewhere exoticall for my 40th, and I know I won’t do that if I don’t ‘werk’. She’s my rock, my strength, my inspiration, my drive, my peace, my joy; like my children, she’s why I want to do better and be better.
And so it begins. Happy new year sun goddess, make it count.