I Hate You Then I Love You

There are days I hate, you know the ones.
Days when I need you like the oceans need the moon,
When I taste blood in my mouth for hunger of you.
Days of bittersweet memories crowding my mind –
The pen I used when I wrote to you last,
The journal from which I tore the lined sheets.
The wine, no more a favourite, stands undrunk in the cabinet;
The tickets from that show we never saw
Still lying at the back of the drawer.
On days like these I feel you here
Herb-scented breath warm on my neck
And the rough tonguing following roaming hands.

There are days I hate, you know the ones.
Days when anger subsumes hunger and leaves the heart thudding;
Days when you are the mistake I cannot forget,
The error I never should have made;
When the words I write swim before my eyes
Chased by the lies of four hundred eighty days.
On days like these I picture you here –
“I’ll take care of you” you whisper,
And on my lips a bitter smile forms.

There are days when I love you
Love you like you wouldn’t believe,
Love like you couldn’t receive –
Days when I recall the smiles you brought forth and the thrills down my spine;
The touch of your hand, the rush of my blood.
On days like this your heart communes with mine
But even that is only in my mind.

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