Take your words back!
I don’t want them in my head or
In my heart or
Banging around in my skull –
Take them back! Take them back!
I don’t want them!
No longer can I pull them out
To savour and inhale them,
Turn them this way and that way and taste them;
Fresh and juicy, succulent and moreish –
I could never get enough of your words!
Your words! Take them back!
Pack them up in your boxes with your records
And your man-toys and your books –
I don’t want them here anymore.
I had room for them when I had room for you and your toothbrush
And your socks and your cracked mug – I should have broken it! –
But now that you’re leaving this home
And walking out’ my heart,
Take the words too, why leave them behind?
Your words are dirty stained things,
Ragged and flapping uselessly in the wind,
The flag of a long-gone nation, sovereign no more;
Cold lies where once flame roared.
Spineless things, limp things,
No firmness or courage in these things.
They reek of fear and foolishness and weakness
Though they used to be rose-scented solid things,
Things which promised a future and a hope;
Strong things, such beauties, precious things that I could hold close
And wear like Joseph wore his robe –
Take them! I don’t want them!
Your poems too – take them!
Just like your words they are not what they once were.
Sharp bits of glass to be avoided lest they cut and cut deep,
No more like rose petals (I love roses!) upon which to rest my cheek
And marvel at the beauty of life though now it’s so bleak.
Must I now re-purpose these words, find new meaning in them?
I must? I must! I refuse! I refuse!
But I will! –I must be strong where you are weak.
You were not strong enough
Or big enough
To contain all my love.
You said I was too much for you
And I should have listened
But I thought you said you would
Love the challenge
And Rise to it –
But no matter, just take back your words
And I will be fine.
Let me start fresh,
Let me untaste your words
And unknow your mind
And unfeel your body against mine.
Take back your words
And with them the memories
And I will be fine once more.
Just please, take them back.