The Art of Mosquito-swatting


I don’t like you. But i don’t DISlike you. If you never spoke to me ever again i wouldn’t notice and if it was brought to my attention, well i’d say ‘hmm i wonder why?’ and forget about you once more. I’m really trying to not let your griminess get to me. Really, i am. But you make it so hard. I want to not give a damn about your lack of basic decency but the truth is, i’m very close to despising you. Funny how we go from indifference to almost-loathing in no time.
I tried to be helpful, and when that didn’t work i tried to stay out of your way. Clearly you hate my guts. I don’t know what more i can do to not be in your space and avoid having you in mine.
I thought we were doing pretty well, all things considered. The peace was fragile at best, yes – but it was peace nonetheless.
Yesterday when you were cheesing, being fake-helpful and flashing that plastic smile, i let it pass even though i knew it was all an act. I play along when you do what you do because you know, that’s what we do, me and you. That’s our version of peace. I have asked myself why you bother with the fake smiles though – but i guess I didn’t care enough to care, really.
If i had known yesterday what i know now, i would not have nodded along just to be agreeable.

My first thought, when i heard what you did, when i heard about you going to the director and trying to get me fired, was that you are an evil heaux. Yeah, i thought it. Then i took that thought back – to be fair, i don’t know enough about your lifestyle to call you a heaux. But i do know enough about your personal ethics and moral code to know that you are amoral at best, and psychotic at worst. Ok maybe not psychotic, but you get my point.Borderline Personality Disorder maybe?

What really amazes me is your audacity – trying to have me held accountable for your failures? That is low. And doing that when you’ve resigned? I didn’t think anyone could sink that low. Why go to all that effort when you are leaving? What did i ever do to you to make you so vindictive?

Clearly, i underestimated you and your loathing for me.
I dont hate you, i really dont care much about you, truth be told. I never cease to be amazed by the interest you, however, take in my doings. Your behaviour fascinates me in much the same way i believe anthropologists are fascinated by primitive cultures: —-> like, wow, you actually did that?

I feel like i want to look into you and find out what really drives you, fuels such desire for harming others – yes, what makes you tick. I want to understand you because your behaviour truly boggles my mind.

I want to be upset, angry, i want to plot revenge and all those things people do when they are unfairly attacked and their reputations muddied. And yet the best i can muster is this mild sense of disbelief —-> Like, really? *insert jaw-drop* that’s the best i can do. I can’t be outraged because – well, you just dont bug me that much, though clearly i bug the hell out of you. All i need to do is let them read my evaluations and you’ll have egg on your face. Try harder next time.

I have fought and conquered bigger and better – you are little more than an annoying blip on my radar screen. Get you a life and stop trying to ruin mine.