If you make a habit of looking to other people for validation, you have a problem.
Healthy self-awareness means that you are doing what is right for you without the need for an external cheer-leader.
If you get upset when other people don’t ‘clap’ for you, you have a problem.
You shouldn’t need an audience to treat other people right or to do the right thing. You shouldn’t be doing things to gain approval from other people. You should be able to stand for what you believe with or without someone watching.
If not getting approval from that one person whose smile you crave spoils your day, you have a problem.
Yes, everyone has people whose opinions matter. But those opinions should not weigh more than your own. Once you became an adult, you gave up the luxury of relying on parents to guide you. Your path shold be mapped out by you and you only. Other people are there to provide support and encouragement where needed, not to tell you how you should be living your life.
If, just if, your entire mood changes because one person said something that hurt your feelings, well then, you really have a problem.
You will be offended and you will be hurt by other people. You will be angry and insulted. Those are things that come with social interaction and you cannot avoid them. However, you should be aware of those times when it’s merely your ego that is wounded, and act accordingly. You should be complete in yourself, nobody else should have the power to make or break you.Examine your relationships – who is controlling you?
Well-adjusted people know that they are worthy of being treated well, and they treat other people well because they don’t get off on making other people feel small.
People who are balanced know that sometimes off-handed remarks can sting, sometimes quite badly, but they don’t curl up into little balls of depression – they shrug it off and move on. They know that these things happen, and that when they do, it’s not a reflection on them or their relationship with the other person. People with good self-esteem do not think that an unanswered email or phone-call is the pre-cursor to a lifetime of loneliness.
I’m not saying that’s you, I’m just saying.
Take a step back – how do you want to live YOUR life?
– Seeking approval from everybody and letting everyone walk all over you? Is this what you want?
– To feel unimportant and unvalued? Needy and whiny? How is this good for you?
Dust yourself off – that’s right, shake it off.
Start changing things, beginning with yourself. Seek only that which will add value to your life, not take away meaning.
Keep your head up. You can do this. Take back the power and assume responsibility for your own behavior.