make it happen and stop whining

Here’s something to remember:

No one cares.

That’s right. No one will rescue you or save you. You have to fight your own battles.

You need to take responsibility for your own self and sort out your own life. Stop taking advantage of the people who love you. Family is there to help you as you do your thing, to provide encouragement, support, companionship – NOT to clean up after you or bail you out.

You are responsible for no one but yourself. You like that, don’t you? Sounds good? Now hear this: you have no one but yourself to blame; no one is responsible for you. And that is great news – just as no one can hold you responsible for their messes, you cannot hold anyone responsible for yours.

Anytime you make an excuse – the dog ate my homework; I was stuck in traffic – anytime you make an excuse you are shifting the responsibility for your action (or lack thereof) to something/someone else. And as you do that, you are also giving  power over your destiny to someone else.

Sure, there are things that you cannot control, but you can always control how you respond, how you act.
Avoid whining when things do not go your way. All that does is draw negative attention to you, and you don’t want that.

Take control and take back the power. Make it happen and stop whining.


the creation of a new you

Sooner or later everyone goes through a time when they feel lonesome. Everybody gets lonely. But the truth of the matter is that no one ever died from loneliness. So, hold out for what you want, the type of man you want – why shouldn’t you? Just because you’re lonely does not mean that you should settle for just anyone, certainly it does not mean that you should settle for less than the best God has for you. There is a world of difference between being hungry, and slipping into a starvation-induced coma.

Yes, sometimes you may feel that your entire life is one huge joke for an unseen audience; you may feel that you are inconsequential and that nobody cares what you do or how badly you do it. Hear this: God cares for you, and if for no other reason than the fact that He loves you and sees you, you ought to live your best life. Now. Do not sacrifice Godly ideals for momentary gratification. Temporary solutions to permanent problems are a bad idea.

Everything is either good or bad, pretty or ugly according to what our minds have been recently fed upon. Set high standards for your behaviour and that of people around you, because deep down everyone expects and deserves the best. No, you’re not perfect and this side of heaven no one ever will be, but make an effort to spend time and energy pursuing a  life of excellence in all things.

If you want rest for your soul, a sense of belonging and to discover your true identity, live a Godly, meaningful and significant life. Be positive. Tire of being a nothing and a nobody. Be in control of yourself. You are in charge of you, your feelings, your thoughts and your actions. You have a right to feel and think whatever you please, but your behaviour is a responsibility to be considered carefully. Ultimately you are the only person who can decide who you become. Who you will be is up to you.

Find security in yourself; complement other women. It really doesn’t hurt. Your speech should be positive.  Speak the affirmative, help others see the good in others and themselves and not do not be negative, always highlighting only the bad.

Learn to mean what you say; don’t expect others to understand that words have special meaning as and when they are used by you. Think twice and speak once; again, say only what you mean. Do not gossip and slander, do not be malicious. Do not seek to feel better about yourself by making others feel bad about themselves. Yes, hurting people hurt people, but refuse to be that statistic. Let your no be no and yes be yes. Be unequivocal, for that is the mark of a good character; people should not have to make assumptions about what you mean. Learn to be reliable and dependable – do things when you say you’ll do them.

Take time to know yourself, to figure out what you like and dislike. Happiness comes from within and not from other people.

Refuse to give in to pressure to do things that are contrary to your beliefs. If you don’t know what you believe, take the time, do the research to figure it out. Broaden your horizons and your scope, figure out what you stand for and what matters to you. Listen to ‘Affirmation’ by Savage Garden and write your own code of conduct/system of belief for yourself. Do not make arbitrary judgements about right and wrong; learn to look to God or as your source. If you are not a Christian, then find that code of ethics or higher power that you can believe in that is objective and has clearly defined judgments on right and wrong.

Do not get lost in your head, allowing your perceptions of other people and their opinions of you to affect your judgment. Allow people time to prove themselves to you, but remember that other people often stick to the first impressions they receive. So make the first impression that people have of you a favourable one.

Lastly, but most importantly, do not abuse the people you love, hurt them or take them for granted.

This is your time to become a ”new creation”.